We, the citizens (*and new immigrants and other shareholders) of Singapore,
pledge ourselves as one united people (*economy),
regardless of race (*please check your population quota under the Ethnic Integration Policy, and check whether your neighbour likes curry),
language (*your mother tongue as spoken by your father; please note Singlish is discouraged, but broken English acceptable)
or religion (*distinct and separate from one another; code of conduct may be needed so that one can be ‘less strict’),
(*regarding queries on sexual identity, please refer to 377A and the latest MOE Breaking Down Bridges programme;
regarding queries on local identity, please check your GRC boundaries every 5 years)
to build a democratic (*Asian-style, not western-style like a world-class parliament; as agreed upon by the majority of 60%)
society (*based on shared values of Confucian ethics for pragmatism; please refer to the 1991 White Paper, or any book on ‘hard truths’ that may be banned in Malaysia)
based on justice (*ISA to be invoked whenever applicable)
and equality (*a ‘multiracial meritocracy’, ie. some may have more equality than others)
so as to achieve happiness (*Singapore standard, not Bhutan standard),
prosperity (*as measured by GDP and inflation rate, not salary increment or welfare spending for the less fortunate;
as measured by property prices and height of condominiums, not HDB floor area;
as measured by the number of highways created by bulldozers, not the MRT train frequency or reliability;
as measured by the volume of subterranean shopping space in Orchard Road, and also amount of water storage, otherwise known as ‘ponding’)
and progress for our nation (*our neoliberal globalised economy under Temasek).
